Youthy bullshit

Okay, of course, that is all bullshit. The sort of bullshit that pepsi machine repairpeople don’t have time for.They don’t even notice. Their lives are like television, only faster.

I fell in love with one once, a repair person, not a television. I wrote this for her.


The primordial beauty is a woman rising from the tide pool, hair slick with the extra body of the brine. I want to see you like that, lick back your hair, focus all on your face. But even the bitter taste of your cruelty-freestyle and hold cannot draw enough saliva to my mouth.

But the machine never broke again while I worked at that cinema so I never saw her to give it to her. Probably for the best.I walked by a woman yesterday who seemed to have misunderstood the concept of lipstick. I only fell in love with her a little bit.

Some of the other people I fell in love with yesterday include:

1)A woman about my own age in an elevator in my building. She just had a completed look about her, as if she was dressed exactly the way she wanted to be, and probably had an apartment that had everything she thought necessary in it. I’ve always dreamed of an apartment that looked completed.

2)The silhouette of a woman striding towards me. A long full coat, a hat looking like the chanel version of the flying nun’s cap. Maybe this was really just my love of the sun.

3)My dental hygienist. Not the one that I saw yesterday, another one, from a few years ago. Whom I remember quite well.

4)The young clerk in the 7-11. She’s so friendly. A delicate face, but I’m still confident that she would knee me in the groin if she thought it was appropriate.

5)My grandmother. Not when she was my grandmother(an old woman who died when I was six). To be accurate, a picture of my grandmother when she was a young woman, just before she got married. She looks like she could have walked out of the picture, out of the wheat stubble snowy field, and into the Paris of Gertrude Stein.But she didn’t. Not even close.

6)And while we are at that time period, the now deceased wife of William S. Burroughs.And I don’t think this is any sort of projection of a love for Bill himself although maybe it has something to do with the actress who played her in the movie.

And finally, with three people that I know might hear of this list, but I won’t embarrass anyone by going into any more details about that.